Getting Started

Fear. What is it? Why does it hold me back? I have wanted to start a blog for a long time, but haven't. What has held me back? Fear. Fear of I don't know what I'm doing. Fear of no one's going to read this. Fear that I will sound like I'm rambling. I took the plunge. I started my own blog.

It seems I am in a season to face my fears. It's been exciting. The fears I have faced so far have been adventurous in the literal sense. Taking a "ski lift" chair above land and sea (well really a bay). Being that high up with no real security scared the crap out of me. But I did it for my son, who gives me courage. I had to do it twice. I was fine and felt better for it.

Snorkeling. When my friend Rosie took me to the pool to practice snorkeling, as I have never been before, I tried, but the fear of not breathing normally through my nose held me back. I started to cry. I held back the tears because I was like "I'm being such a big sissy!" But I just wanted to cry and let it go. That was the end of the lesson. Putting my foot down as I was holding back my tears trying to be a big girl. "I can't do it, I'm done." However, when you are in the Carribbean Ocean and you have your chance to snorkel and see the beautiful creations of the sea that God blessed us with, you get over your fear and snorkel. And snorkel I did. Beautiful. I was fine. It was actually exciting. I snorkeled. Yeah me.

Then there are the sting rays. When your friends say, "where gonna going swimming with the sting rays." I imagine it's like swimming with the dolphins; in a controlled setting with instructors and tamed sting rays (whatever that means). So when our boat anchored and we are surrounded by wild sting rays you don't get out of the boat. They are called STING rays, not come pet me rays or friendly rays, but STING rays. So I was confused when everyone was in the ocean but me! I couldn't wrap my head around how there were human beings standing in the ocean and hundreds of wild sting rays swimming around being "petted". But this is what we were there for, so I gave it a go. I tried running in the ocean from the sting rays, until my best friend yelled at me, "Mary! You're gonna get stung if you dont' chill out!" So I chilled and watched as sting rays swim against your leg, as your hand hangs in the ocean and the sting rays just swim and let you pet. By the time we left, I had held and kissed a sting ray. Yes kissed a sting ray! Talk about getting over your fear!